The Boredom Bugs
by Crazy Squee
Summary: The Great Fox is infested with parasites! What will the Star Fox team do to prevent the infestation from spreading? My first SF fic. **FINISHED**
1. Discovery

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Fox or related characters and titles. Nintendo does. Or Rare, or something.  
  
Btw: This is my first SF fic and I was really bored when I started this so please no flames. Enjoy!  
  
1 The Boredom Bugs  
  
Three of the members of the Star Fox team were lounging around in the main recreational room of the Great Fox. Their leader was in his quarters, resting.  
  
"I'm bored." Peppy said, finishing up another thumb-wrestling match against Slippy.  
  
"C'mon! One more go!" Slippy pleaded as he grabbed Peppy's hand in the position of thumb wrestling.  
  
"Geez, Slippy! I've already beaten you 341 times!" Peppy told him.  
  
"Three hundred forty-two." Falco corrected, looking up from the magazine he was reading. It was his favorite magazine in the whole world, "Hot Lady Birds".  
  
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Peppy said, defeating Slippy even while not looking.  
  
"Aww! I lost again!" Slippy whined. He found a spot on the couch, picked up the remote, and watched TV.  
  
"Well, what's your idea?" Falco asked, not looking up this time.  
  
"We can go kill off the rest of Andross's baddies and make General Pepper pay us more money!" Peppy replied, cracking his knuckles.  
  
"Nah, I'd rather stay here." Falco said, still not looking up.  
  
"Me too." Slippy said, staring at the TV as if mesmerized.  
  
"And now back to the all tree, all the time Tree Channel," the man on the TV said dully.  
  
"Ooh ooh this is the best part!" Slippy said as the TV zoomed in on a white birch tree's trunk.  
  
"Hmm. Maybe Fox will want to. He's always up for some cash." Peppy said, and walked over to McCloud's personal quarters. Peppy slammed on the door as hard as he could.  
  
"Hey, Fox!" he shouted.  
  
"Go, away Peppy!" a tired grouchy Fox yelled back.  
  
"Wanna make some cash?" Peppy persuaded. The door opened instantly.  
  
"Sure." Fox said, fully dressed. Works every time, Peppy chuckled to himself. Peppy and Fox proceeded to the Docking bay. They climbed into their own Arwings and got ready to go. Just as they opened the airlock door, Slippy and Falco came out running from the rec room. Falco was still reading his magazine as he and Slippy boarded their Arwings.  
  
"We're coming too!" Falco called, finally putting his magazine into his back pocket.  
  
"What's with the change of heart?" Peppy radioed the newcomers once they all were boarded.  
  
"My boredom just suddenly ceased, and I felt like I wanted to do something!" Falco said.  
  
"I followed him!" was Slippy's answer. "You guys know I can't stand being home alone!" The other three members shuddered at memories of what happened last time.  
  
The four finally set out for baddie hunting, with Rob64 backing them up. They searched the entire Lylat System for any remaining forces that once held allegiance to Andross. They came up with nothing.  
  
"Rats." Fox said as the team docked back in Great Fox. The four exited their respective Arwings and headed back to the rec room. Fox noticed an odd purple blob that seemed to have been burst under the left wing of his Arwing.  
  
"What in Andross's name is that?" Fox asked his teammates. The other three came over to look.  
  
"Eeww!" Slippy said and ran away.  
  
"I've never seen anything like it…" Falco said, then shrugged and followed Slippy to the rec room.  
  
"It looks oddly familiar," Peppy noted. "Wait! I've seen a picture of it in one of my books of otherworldly creatures!" He left to the ship's library. Fox followed.  
  
Upon entering the library behind Peppy, Fox asked, "Since when do we have a library?"  
  
"We've always had it Fox." Peppy replied. "Now where was that book?" He thumbed a nearby cart of books, looking for a particular book.  
  
"Let's see, "Strange Creatures from Other Worlds", "More Strange Creatures from Other Worlds", "Really Strange Creatures, from Other Worlds", "More Really Strange Creatures from Other Worlds". Aha!" Peppy said and picked up the next one. "Even More Really Strange Creatures from Other Worlds!" He grinned and hugged it as a schoolgirl. Fox looked at him weirdly. Peppy looked up at Fox.  
  
"A-hem," Peppy cleared his throat and donned his serious face. He started flipping through the book like a madman.  
  
"Aha! Here it is!" Peppy stopped flipping and shoved the page in Fox's face. "That purple blob is one of these!" Fox looked at the page and read aloud.  
  
"The egg of a hetertrophic-endocytosinis-dicilin, nick named, 'The Boredom Bug', for its affect on intelligent life forms of complete lethargy. As the name suggests, the Boredom Bug is a parasitic carnivore, and feeds off the blood of other animals. One of these eggs can release as many as 50 Bugs in a matter of hours. So?"  
  
"So," Peppy said, closing the book and returning it to its shelf. "If that thing hatches, we'll have an infestation problem! I think it already has! It will make the entire Star Fox team completely lethargic until we all wither away in our own boredom! That is not good!"  
  
"I wonder if General Pepper will pay me for killing these things…" Fox pondered.  
  
"We have to kill that egg now, before it hatches! And if it already has, we have to kill the individual bugs!" Peppy shouted and ran back to Fox's Arwing in the Docking Bay. Fox followed, blaster ready. They didn't make it back in time. The egg had indeed burst, and there was no sign of the Bugs anywhere.  
  
"Rob64, we have a problem." Peppy said. 


	2. Infestation

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Fox or related titles and characters.  
  
The Boredom Bugs (cont'd)  
  
1 Chapter Two: Infestation  
  
Falco and Slippy are lounging around in the living room of the Great Fox. Slippy is watching TV, and Falco is reading a new issue of his magazine. They both were sitting on the same couch.  
  
"Hey! There's something blocking my view!" Slippy complained suddenly. Falco looked up. There was indeed something small seemingly stuck to the TV. Slippy got up to look at it.  
  
"What is this thing?" Slippy asked Falco, peeling off the eight- legged purple ant-looking creature from the TV. It had three eyes and a sucker like a fly's mouth, atop a body divided into three parts, each part with two legs, except for the one that was the head, which had and extra pair of legs.  
  
"Eww!" Slippy said, disgusted, dropped the bug, and ran away to his own private quarters.  
  
"Wimp!" Falco called after him. Fox and Peppy ran into the room, panting.  
  
"Say something, Falco?" Fox asked, out of breath.  
  
"Just calling Slippy a wimp." Falco replied. Falco pulled his blaster and aimed it at the non-moving creature. "And taking care of some business." He fired his gun at the thing. Its green guts gushed out, making a small mess on the floor. And an unbearable stench rose from the corpse.  
  
"Oh, God! What is that stench?" Fox asked, finally noticing the now- dead creature.  
  
"Geez, Slip! What'd you do that for?" Peppy asked Slippy, but got no answer as Slippy was in his quarters.  
  
"That was I." Falco assured Peppy.  
  
"Since when did your farts smell as bad as Slippy's?" Peppy asked, confused.  
  
"It's the bug, you moron." Falco said, annoyed. Peppy eyed the purple creature strangely. Falco hurriedly mopped it up and threw the body into the airlock disposal.  
  
"That must be one of the hetertrophic-endocytosinis-dicilin that the egg released!" Peppy said with a very giddy, happy tone of voice.  
  
"Huh?" Falco said, more confused than ever.  
  
"Long story." Fox said.  
  
"The ship's being invaded by small creatures called Boredom Bugs! We have to stop them before they start sucking the life out of all of us!" Peppy explained. Falco leaned closer to Fox.  
  
"Has Peppy been drinking again?" Falco whispered to Fox.  
  
"Nah, he's perfectly sober." Fox answered.  
  
"Has he been doing loop the loops again?" Falco continued.  
  
"I think he did one or two while we were searching for Andross's goons, but I don't think it was enough." Fox replied. "He went back to the library on the ship."  
  
"We have a library?" Falco pondered. Fox just shook his head and listened to Peppy's babbling.  
  
"We must destroy these things! If we don't, they'll bore us to death!" Peppy ranted. Falco chuckled to himself. "This is a serious matter, Falco! What's so funny?" Peppy inquired.  
  
"Oh nothing." Falco replied. Then he whispered to Fox, "I think Peppy will bore us to death first!" Fox had a good chuckle at that.  
  
"What?" Peppy yelled, aggravated from the interruption. Falco and Fox remained silent. "Anyways, we have to stop these things! Fox, Falco, search the quarters for the bugs! I'll check in here and the cockpit! And where is Slippy?" Peppy barked.  
  
"I'll get him when I look in his quarters." Fox said.  
  
"I'll check my own quarters, thank you." Falco asserted. Fox raised an eyebrow at that, but lowered it after a second.  
  
"Well let's go!" Peppy commanded, and ran off to the cockpit with his blaster in hand. Fox and Falco looked at each other and walked off in the direction of the personal rooms, their own blasters in hand.  
  
  
  
"Watch out, Falco. These things can bore us to death!" Fox joked.  
  
"Yeah. There's no way we can stand up to their awesome boring powers!" Falco joked back. "Hey, hold up." Falco motioned for them to stop and listen. He heard a faint skitter noise.  
  
"There!" Falco shot his blaster at the ceiling of the corridor.  
  
"REEE!" the bug shrieked as it fell from its perch, bleeding guts like the last one. It also released a stench as bad, or worse, than the first.  
  
"Good thing I brought this!" Falco said, pulling out a dustpan and small broom from his jacket pockets. He brushed up the bug best he could, and tossed it out a nearby airlock disposal. The two continued down the corridor to a fork, Peppy and Falco's quarters down the right, the other two down the left.  
  
"I'll check mine and Peppy's" Falco said.  
  
"I'll check mine and Slippy's, then." Fox returned.  
  
"Ok." Falco affirmed.  
  
"Alright." Fox iterated. Fox went down the left corridor, Falco the right.  
  
  
  
Fox had his blaster at the ready, waiting for a bug to pop off the ceiling like the last one did. The corridor was dimly lit; Fox could barely make out the navy blue metallic walls. Fox stopped to listen hard periodically for a few seconds, and moved on. He finally came to the door of his own private room. He opened the door slowly, using the hand with his blaster to open with. Fox peered in the room, looking for any sign of the purple creatures. He looked up, down, behind his poster of Fara, in his dresser, in the closet, but found no sign. He did find, however, his missing issue of Corneria Monthly. Fox hastily placed it in its rightful place on a nearby shelf.  
  
"Maybe I should check under the bed…" Fox said to himself. He cautiously stepped up to the bed and looked under it. Fox noticed a funky shaped shadow under the bed.  
  
"AAAIEEE!" Fox screeched. It was the last thing he said before the creature jumped on his face and he blacked out.  
  
  
  
Falco was having a ball looking for the Bugs.  
  
"Oh, is there one there?" Falco turned around and pointed his gun to the ceiling. "Nope! They're all too scared of the great and mighty Falco!" He twirled his blaster on his wing and readied it. Falco yawned, and continued down the hallway, which was no more lit than Fox's. He started moon walking through the corridor, up to a door similar to the one that led to Fox's room, but it had a giant sized picture of Falco on it.  
  
"Looking sharp, dude!" Falco complimented, and opened the door to enter the room. His jaw dropped as he gaped at the huge mess in his room. Dressers were overturned, posters of himself ripped down, and his beautiful jackets thrown all around the entire room. Falco looked at the bed to see a humanoid green grotesque monster apparently snoozing on it.  
  
"SLIPPY!" Falco screamed. He heard another skitter noise and looked up.  
  
"Aw, crap!" Falco griped. It was his last conscious thought before the Bug landed on his head and he blacked out.  
  
  
  
Peppy was running full tilt to the cockpit of the great ship. He had his blaster at the ready, so he could shoot the bugs on a minute's notice. Peppy almost tripped over something small, only to hear a weak, "REEE!" as the Bug he crushed died quickly.  
  
"Well, that's one down!" Peppy said satisfied, and continued to the cockpit. He caught something out of the corner of his eye, and shot his blaster at a dark corner of the corridor.  
  
"REEE!" went the Bug as it exploded. Peppy continued. There seem to be a lot this way; I wonder if Fox and Falco are having this much fun, he thought to himself. He saw and blasted another Bug before he finally got to the door to the cockpit. Peppy panted and opened the door. The last thing he saw was a small purple creature jumping at his face. Peppy blacked out entirely.  
  
  
  
"Scanner sweep successful." Rob64 called over the intercom. "I have identified 37 living Bugs. Good luck, Star Fox."  
  
There's Chapter 2 for ya! But that's not it! Watch for Chapter 3! Yay! 


	3. Spring Cleaning

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Fox or related titles and characters.

The Boredom Bugs 

**_Spring Cleaning_**

****

Wise Man John

"Oooh, my head…" Slippy complained, rubbing his skull.  He looked around the room.  "Hey, what am I doing in Falco's room?  And who made this mess?"  Slippy noticed the body of a blue avian on the floor.  The last thing I remember, he thought to himself, was that little bug, and then blackness.

"Star Fox?" Rob64's metallic voice came from nowhere and everywhere.  "Scanning, scan…" the robot stopped suddenly.

"Rob?  Hey Rob!  What's happened to everyone?" Slippy asked seemingly nothing.

"My scanners indicate that the rest of the team are unconscious, though still alive." Rob64 returned.

"Location?" Slippy retorted.

"Falco is located in his quarters, Fox is located in his quarters, and Peppy appears to be outside the cockpit room." Rob64 answered.

Slippy poked the back of Falco's head.

"Hey, wake up!" Slippy yelled in his ear.  He turned Falco's body over to find one of the purple creatures stuck to Falco's face.

"Aaaaaieeee!" Slippy screamed, and fainted.

"Scanners indicate that the entirety of the Star Fox is now incapacitated.  Thirty-seven identified life-forms known as 'hetertrophic-endocytosinin-decilin' remain on board." Rob64 reported to no one.  "Hehe, when Star Fox is away, the human robots will play…" Rob64's tone changed drastically to that of a young human male.  "Finally!  I can test out my latest creation, the Rob-Mech.  I'll send the brain waves from my non-artificial intelligence to match that of the artificial intelligence of my Rob-Mech, thus allowing me to move around this ship freely!  It's about time I can return to my birthright as a human being!"

After several minutes of various machine noises, the wall directly in front of Fox's door to his quarters opened in part, revealing the body of a black haired human.  It moved its fingers, then its hands, then its arms, and finally the legs moved sufficiently to bring the android outside of its niche.  It stretched every joint and proceeded to enter Fox's private quarters.

"Shouldn't be too hard," Rob64 said to himself.  "I just have to wake the team up, make sure they're 100%, and return to the AI before anyone notices."  He chuckled to himself.  He disliked the confinement of the AI sometimes, but as long as he could get a good stretch, he didn't mind that he's a human brain in a robot's body.

Rob64 opened the door and walked over to Fox's body.  He seemed perfectly normal, save the unconsciousness.  Rob64 looked around the room, scanning for any other life forms in the vicinity.  He spotted one apparently hiding in the closet.  Rob64 cautiously approached the closet and threw open the doors, expecting something big to happen.

There was a bug there, all right, but it wasn't moving.  Rob64 tried to pick it up.  It instantaneously burst into itself, causing the guts and horrific smell to gush out.  The android vaporized the bug, stench and all, using a really really hot heat ray in its palm.  One down.  Rob64 shook Fox several times, trying to wake him.  Fox groaned and rolled onto his belly.

"But it's too early to go to school…" Fox mindlessly babbled, trying to shake away the sleepiness.  Rob64 exited the room and went for Falco's personal quarters.  He spotted and vaporized two bugs on the way.

"Thirty-four life-forms remain living on board." The intercom boomed.

"Maybe I should shut that off," Rob64 said to himself.  "It might give me away.  Then again, why do I hide the fact I've a human brain?  I'll think about that later.  I've got work to do."  He opened the door to Falco's room.  Slippy was lying on the bed, much as he had earlier.  Falco was on the floor next to the bed, with one of the creatures on his face.  Rob64 vaporized the Bug, being especially careful not to harm Falco.  The android scanned the room for any more Bugs.  He spotted one on the other side of the bed.  It was gone faster than Rob64 had noticed it.  He then shook Slippy back to the conscious world, then Falco.  Rob64 left without a trace.  He spotted three more of the creatures between him and Peppy's resting point.  They were vaporized with even less of a trace.

"Ugh," Fox groaned to himself.  "Who, where am I?"  He got up to his feet.  Fox looked around the surrounding area.  "Wait, what was the last thing that happened to me?"  He thought over the last thing he remembered.  Fox recalled the bug rearing its ugly head, then black.  How long was I out, he thought to himself.  Finally remembering the task at hand, Fox readied his blaster and exited his quarters.

"Hmm…" Falco moaned.  He opened his eyes and looked around.  He was still in his quarters.  The only difference was that Slippy was frantically trying to clean up the room.

"What are you doing in here?!?" Falco screeched, climbing to his feet, though still somewhat dazed.

"Just some spring cleaning!  Hehe…" Slippy replied, giving no indication of stopping.

"Aargh," Falco grumbled.  He lay on his bed and closed his eyes.

"Falco!" Slippy yelled suddenly, and stopped cleaning.  "Don't go to sleep!"

"Why not?" Falco returned, eyes still closed but with a grimace on his face.

"The penguins will come and eat us!"  Slippy looked worried.

"Bah humbug." Falco retorted and returned to his slumber.

Meanwhile, Rob64 had just shaken Peppy awake, and stealthily returned to his niche in front of Fox's room.

"Thirty Bugs remain living on board." Rob64 called through the intercom from his usual AI spot.

"Time to go bug-hunting!" Peppy yelled, readied his gun, and charged back toward the private quarters, zapping anything smaller than Slippy on his way.

"Ahhh.  Finally done." Slippy said, satisfied.  The room looked much better.  Slippy then thought about anything else he could do.  He was pretty bored.

"Wait!  I've got it!" Slippy cocked his laser and ran out the door.  He met with Fox and Peppy on the way out.

"Slippy!  You're alright!" Peppy said happily and hugged the giant frog.

"Darn." Fox said under his breath.

"Listen," Peppy let go of Slippy.  "We got bugs to kill!"  The three split up and hunted the bugs down, one by one.

"Twenty-nine, twenty-seve-twenty-two-ninete-seve-four-te-si-thr-one bug remaining." Rob64 boomed over the intercom.  Fox, Slippy and Peppy met back in front of Peppy's room.

"One more left.  Where could it be?" Fox said.

"Right there." Peppy replied and shot up to the ceiling.  The bug gave a REEEE noise and burst.

"Zero bugs remain on board.  Good job, Star Fox." Rob64 said, again over the intercom.

"All in a day's work." Fox said.  Falco came out of nowhere and greeted the other three members.

"What'd I miss?" Falco asked.  The other three started laughing.  Rob64 joined in the laughter.  Eventually, so did Falco.

THE END

Sorry that took so long, and for the fact it wasn't as great an ending as it was the other two chapters.  I forgot about this fic and lost all zeal I had for it, and had writer's block throughout the fic.  That's my excuse.


End file.
